GiGi learned a bit of a lesson this week. You know I thought I'd get all relevant about my research and ramblings and try for a PHD on it all. Well, I knew exactly what I want to work on, and how I want to do it, and started putting it together as a proposal. I looked at several other proposals, and thought- eek- I don't write like these, not sure I even know the language! But I dived in, wrote out some sentences, and a strange thing happened- I completely lost the power of making any sense whatsoever Em- and what came out was quite frankly, a shocker! You will find all this out, all too soon when you start to learn your lessons at school, (so its just as well that I heads you up)- that each time you learn something new, it's almost like you have to go back to the very beginning again, unless of course, you don't want to learn the new thing at all- or get outside of your comfort zone.
Which is where I am at now. I've been there plenty of times before. I remember designing my first ever Knitwear Collection for John, and as usual it being very late in the day for knitwear, which takes longer than cloth. So, there was nothing for it, other than designing it myself- and hoping good old JG would 'buy-it'. I couldn't wait for him to give me a brief, I had to use my own clues, research and resources.
I remember the day clearly. It was a Sunday, Daddy was three years old, and his Daddy had taken him out for the day, so I could sit down and 'do a collection' (!)
I put some paper out in front of me- and stared at it. Then, I made a cup of tea, and stared at the paper again. Panic crept in about three hours later, as disgarded bits of paper filled the room, several drawers and tables got tidied, the room dusted, and an ashtray filled up.
No work. Nothing. No mood board given, no design brief provided, just a need to create and fast.
I stared at blank paper. And then Em, it got designed! Somehow, staring at the paper, and not distracting myself, a bit of magic happened.
After the previous show, I had gone to a Folk Museum in Worthing, and seen the most exquisite Working Men's Smocks. I loved the craftsmanship, and had been reading up on Folk-dress, Guernseys, and Aran history with a vengeance.
I started to mimic the embroidery in knit, and played around with some stitches. More styles presented themselves in my head, and before I knew it, I had fifteen burgeoning styles in front of me.
Here are some of the results.
It took me a while to realise what had happened that day. The lesson was, that I knew what I wanted to say. I had it all tucked away, I just hadn't yet learned the language of how to translate that. Need, and time deadlines, made me accept and trust the process. My ego, or foolishness, just couldn't get in the way.
It happened again significantly, when I was training as an Actress. I could NOT stand Shakespeare. Had learned it by rote at school and could repeat it parrot-fashion. But understand it? No- and my spines were up against that. My wonderful mentor Dorothea Alexander (told you about her before Em)- just wouldn't have it. She made me sit at her feet (embarrassingly age 32, I curled up in a ball and put my hands over my ears!) Until- suddenly (like those 'Magic eye' pictures, where you can't see what's in them however hard you 'try' until you stop 'trying') it made sense. Not only did it make sense, but it became seductive, beautiful and relevant. My thirst led me to read-re-read and visit Shakespeare anew.
So what is my lesson today Emily- well my sweet, it is two-fold. One- the first, confirms a core aspect of what I am looking into for my PHD and the creative processes. Two, is relevant about trusting yourself to learn a new 'language'.
Both can be done- without 'trying' to try. That, and not minding feeling like a bit of a twit along the way...
Tara from there!
Your ever-loving Grandmother,
GiGi xxx
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